Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Killer of the Cavemen

Hi Folks!

As most of you who follow this blog know, we have a place in Erbil where we get together to have dinner, play board games or darts, and share old stories and jokes.

It's called the Caveman Cafe, and we have invested a lot of time and effort in getting it set up just right.

I had a friend make a cartoon representing the boss of the security company (Mighty Joe) and his looked like a Fred Flinstone cartoon. We used it as the main decoration for the wall.

It reads, in Flinstones script: 'Welcome to the Caveman Cafe', then 'Home of Mighty Joe and the Stonebreakers', then 'Pleez see the Maitre'D who will see you to your stump.' With this nice cartoon in the middle.

We have a set of Cave Rules on another poster, but they are not fit for inclusion daughter would scold me, my wife divorce me (oh, she already did that), my dad rebuke me, AND, my Mom would just say I don't know how to look (to find the rules)

My kiddos, on the other hand, still seem to have some respect for their dad, even if few others do.

Well, this is our little place where we make peace after work, if we have wronged each other, on a mission, or on the soccer field, sit down for a night of a board game, just get away from work.

So in comes D. She is from another organization, similar to ours, under a different contract. She likes bourbon, and brought half a ton with her when she came up to Erbil. I don't know where she got it....maybe she has PX priviliges that I don't have....or maybe there is just no PX close to here. Or maybe I prefer not to get drunk on bourbon......

Who knows? But so anyways, this woman decides she doesn't like the Caveman Cafe logo, because it's sexist. She missed the entire joke implied in the 1. Name of the Cafe, 2. Graphic on the banner and 3. the fact that we're actually a bunch of loving guys who just like to tell fart jokes once in a while.

So, I pitched off for home at 9 last night after dinner, leaving her in the hands of my trusty friend from our security team.

And I guess he thought he got her to bed safe and she had work to do today.

Anyhoo, the next evening, I comes into the cafe, takes my normal chair, grabs a mug and a cigarrette, and sits there smoking and talking. Someone comes in and says "What happened to the thingy on the wall?"

Can you believe this low-life bourbon biatch tore down the banner and threw it in the trash because she didn't get the joke? I confronted her, because I knew it was her, but she denied anything to do with it.

Now I tell you compadres, there was no wind last night, and anyway we have put up canvas around the Cafe to make sure it stays warm and wind-free. I know who was on duty last night over at the security house and I know they would not do such a thing to me. The only variable in this equation is the woman.

So, after she is escorted to sleep by the chief of security, she sneaks back out into the Cafe and rips the thing off the wall!!!????

She tore down a 4-foot by 3-foot panel, that we had painstakingly installed, just to decorate the Cafe. This is OUR place....our little oasis from the pressures of the workday. And she comes up for a couple of days, mostly drunk on bourbon, and wants to change OUR space????

I am just so shocked and hurt that someone we had tried to take care of would do some dumb-ass thing like that.

She tried to cook dinner, but doesn't know how to cook lentils. I left before she was done...Good thing I didn't stay because I am more than ticked off. Turns out she didn't really know what she was cooking anyway.....Ramen was a better way to go. That's the way I went.

Thank God she's back to Baghdad today!

May she rest in peace! I have no more sympathy, I've cried out all my tears..... She tore down my banner.

I will not let this one ride.

Some insults, you take 'em on the chin and move on, especially in a a war-zone. This was a deliberate attack, from someone who's supposed to be on YOUR side.

I discussed it with my male colleagues , and they all agreed she was trying to get one of us in the sack. When everyone said no thanks, she walked out, pretended to to go to sleep, then came back to rip our banner down.

So, we'll resurrect the banner somehow, and put the place back together.

The main lesson has been learned by the cavemen:

Never trust a desperate woman.

Love and Peace to all!

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