Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The ice-cream toaster and other dumb inventions

Hi folks!

It's been a while since I have had the time or the energy to write on this little space of mine.....

I have promised you a spate of jokes, so here is the next installment (these are all clean, though maybe not Politically Correct).

Joke #1.

Do you know why they have that big fan on top of helicopters?

To keep the pilot cool......

If it stops, you should see how much he sweats.

Joke #2

Brazil, as a member of the Coalition, sends its Ambassador to see President Bush.
The Ambassador informs President Bush that three Brazilians have died yesterday.

Bush: Well, that's just terrible. What a tragedy.

Bush...to an aide in a whisper: Just how many are there in a brazilian?

Joke #3

Greatest inventions--you make up the nationality that invented them...I don't want to offend anyone:

Submarine screen door
Solar flashlight
Dehydrated water
Helicopter ejector seat
and Ice-cream toaster

Joke #4

This Iraqi guy has an old VW Beetle that he wants to get rid of, so he puts it up for sale. After several weeks, he still has had no offers, so he talks to a friend to get some advice.

The friend says, "Just take off the VW hood ornament and replace it with a BMW hood ornament....it will sell in no time."

So, three or four months later, the two friends meet up again, and the other one asks...."So, did you sell your car?"

"Are you crazy?!!! I'm not going to sell a BMW!!!"

Joke #5

A young man had recently enlisted in the German Coast Guard. After he finished his training, he was sent to work at a station on the Baltic Sea. On his first night on duty, his supervisor showed him around and explained to him all of the instruments and communication devices he would need to do his job.

"Look here, my son, this is the radio...if you hear anything on the radio, just press this button and you can talk to whoever is sending. We have to be vigilant to protect our coastline and the ships that pass by."

"Aye-aye Sir."

"OK, I think you'll do fine. Now, I am going to make myself a cup of tea. Just stand by and listen for any radio calls."

As soon as the captain leaves the room, the radio crackles with an English-speaking voice....

"Mayday, Mayday, SOS, we're sinking!!!!!!!!!"

"I am zo zorry, aber, just vat are you sinking about?"

You can see just how jolly we get when Spring comes to Erbil. Anyway, they always say that with jokes, it's not so much the story, but the delivery. Unfortunately, there are few delivery places here...badum ting.

At the Caveman Cafe, we have good laughs while we cook dinner and listen to music. Yesterday, we made some pretty authentic fish 'n' chips, complete with malt vinegar. Mom, we also had a salad.

We were simultaneously preparing the fish batter and making a lasagna, which will be baked tonight. I just assembled all the necessary bits last night and put it in a pan in the fridge, and we will cook it tonight. Pray for my lasagna. If it doesn't come out well, I may be banned from the kitchen at the Caveman Cafe, except to clean up and wash dishes.

In other news:

Obama is in Baghdad now....surprise visit. But not a big surprise to anyone who can take a ruler and measure the distance between Istanbul and Baghdad. I have to say I saw it coming.

There are kestrels (birds with black body and white patches on their wings) flying everywhere around our training center. They fly very erratically and make this sound that sounds like they are laughing....keekeekew, keekeekew. They chirp all the time they are in flight, and then when they land in the weeds, they become quiet. Word of caution: do not approach their nests or they will dive-bomb you and peck at you.

Haven't seen any snakes or scorpions yet this season, but I am sure they are out there in the wasteland that surrounds our training center.

My knee has still not fully healed from the bursitis that was diagnosed when I had the MRI a couple of weeks ago. So I am not playing soccer. I am also not coaching, as the kids are still in school and have a lot of homework. I wanted to at least get them running and doing some exercises, but they are very busy.

I got five new Adidas soccer balls from a friend I met through the Cavemen. She and her boyfriend chipped in to get these balls. Totally cool!

Speaking of the beautiful game, I will be going to the Chelsea vs. A.C. Milano game with my son in July.......what a treat!

OK--the lasagna went over quite well....full pan was finished among five of us. Many went for seconds, and before you know it, it's gone. And, Mom, we had salad, too!

Peace and Love to all!

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